Bloody Born Losers!

This one's gonna be long. So either get ready for the irritating voyage or press Alt + F4 now!
Oh! If you're using mozilla, close only this tab varna sab kuch udd jayega!!! Ha ha ha ha!

There do exist such people, and trust me they do, people, who're so easy to hate. Easily detestable. There're some people who're just so stubborn and irritating, you could lose all your patients and shoot them with an AK47.21 that you dont even possess! ... errr.. I meant patience. There are some people who're careless, good-for-nothing, good-at-nothing, useless rather. There still are some who are annoyingly dumb and slow to move and some rigid dullards too. And if you take the intersection all the aforementioned categories of people you will still find some people, less in number but yes, existant! Lets call them born losers!

If you did not believe in 'born losers' let me tell you,
"Oh yes! Born losers exist!"
How easy it is to hate them and trust me when I say, All fools are alike. And if you're looking for a specimen, you've arrived at the correct place. Hello, I'm the one you were looking for.

I have been a dolt all my life. Not a nerd though but a dolt. And that too an evil one! I remember when I was young, maybe 6, we spotted a bird's nest on top of our AC and being the heartless geek that I was, I broke one of the eggs... Just for fun and just to see if from inside it looked like the eggs which we ate. Not enough ? When dad asked who did that, I blamed my younger brother and he got a bitter scolding for doing something so cruel. He was too young to defend himself. And all that time, I just looked. Thank you for the compliments I must've got till now.

And if being wicked was not enough, I was a cheat too. In class KG (kindergarten) .. I was in KG-A, I remember.. So in class KG, we had a dictation and ma'am had told us to get it signed by dad. After reaching school in the morning, I saw my dictation sheet but there was no sign. I did not know what a sign meant. I thought it was some encrypted code that would signify acknowledgement and only 'parents' were aware of that super-encoded language of 'signs'. I searched my sheet around and found no 'sign'. I cried as I was annoyed with my parents to have forgot to sign and put me into such trouble. The idiotic 'mani', in tears, was now thinking as to what the devil called teacher will do to me when she finds out the truth! As I sat there alone, came a compassionate little friend (little as compared to now) to help me out.
"Have you got the sign ??" I asked.
"Yes"
"Oh please show me"
I forged it. Yes I did! I forged his parent's signature thinking a 'sign' was a very standard thing. Oh! Ya! I was blind too! Mom had signed. I couldn't see it! Thankfully teacher did not note the forged sign or I could have been sent to jail.. or even.... even....'faansee'(Hung)!

I was a shy boy. A shy boy who was afraid of everything. I was always a loser at school. I always got average marks. Was never a part of anything extracurricular. I was always this another-one-dumb-stupid-boy at school. I have never won anything. And I hated it. I hated being an inconfident and eccentric character. I had no friends. Just a small stupid group of 2 or 3 people and that used to change. I have never played at school and have always eaten a stupid tiffin I had always got, in the break. Not that I was a bookworm.. I was never interested in studies and I played alot with my colony friends but I was always this dumb, uninteresting and stupid part of the crowd. My school years were dark. Full of dread and lack of freedom.

I crave for freedom. I might go right or wrong but freedom is what I want. I might hurt myself but let me be! I want to learn myself. Im ever ready to learn. But I want to learn what I want to. Freedom is a very broad term compressed into 7 simple letters. I want no bondages! I hate them! I want to live like myself and not act according to others.

My universe revolves around me. However selfish or wicked this makes me sound, I am only concerned about myself. And come to think of it! Everyone is! A subtle reality.. But everyone wants satisfaction, peace and happiness. Thats it! The way one feels happiness can be obtained can be unique and might even depend on someone else's happiness. But everyone needs satisfaction. Even a masochist feels satisfied by inflicting pain to himself. I do not believe in paining others for my satisfaction and hoping not to sound paradoxical, hate sadism to the core.
Well, you could also call me a narcissist in an approximate fashion but forget that now.

I have been praised for many things I have been doing. I have been praised for doing things well. But only I know how less I know and I admit to be very highly overesitmated by the people around me. Only I know how dull I am and people have come to call me intelligent. Only I know how boring I am... and damn me! people have come to call me interesting. Only I know how egoistic I am and people have called me modest. Only I know how useless I am and people have come to thank me! And that makes me feel more of a loser.

My life was bad. Notice I use the word 'was'.
Then there came a day in my life. The day when I realized I wasn't actually bound. I am not bound. I am always free. Free to work at my will. But then what stops me ? The social bindings ?

The biggest binding, the social binding, that I face while doing anything is 'What will they think of me' and I fail to understand why I think so. Why am I even bothered about what someone else thinks.. It never affects me! Someone could hate me and ignore me. And what have I got to lose ? Someone could love me and be with me. What have I got to gain ????

Call me rebellious or maybe search for a more negative adjective but I wish to break these social barriers. Rome was not built in a day. Obviously.. The mazdoors must have worked a lot! Oh before I forget...
Today a friend of mine called 'Needy' (Nice name na?) asks me
"Hey I am getting really bored.. Can you tell me something constructive to do for my holidays"
And I was quick to respond,
"Oh! Constructive!!! Mazdoor ban jaa.. What could be more constructive than that!!!??"
(Mazdoor means construction labourer here)
Sorry for the aside. So as I was saying Rome was not built in a day. I will not change in a day. But I have to a great extent. (I think 38.387372299 % approx! Ha Ha Ha Ha)

I have always regretted being a loser.. Being a nobody. But then I realized that being a someone even would not have made me happy. Everyone learns from their own experiences but who learn from the experiences of other are wise. I want to be wise. I see the greatest of achievers rotting, the 'winners' crying, the famous weeping, the rich worrying. I see that. And I try to learn that being a loser, being less at something or rather everything has got no harm. And what I want lies only in contentment and acceptance! Damn you! I don't hate being a loser!

Wallah! I have the key to success. Success, for me, is happiness which comes through contentment. In short, I have one wish left. I wish to not wish anymore and the day this wish comes true.....Bdakh! What can I say!!!!!!! However ideal someone may consider this and suggest me to not do it, I the stubborn rigid bull that I am, will not listen as I am free!

So I have the key to success.
Oh! Just let me try to turn the key now, for this is the turnkey project for my business of life.

My life was bad.
My life is good because I have realized kee bad to hota hee nahi!
Ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha.

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If you did not like some part of the above post.. or think it was offensive or stupid, I suggest don't read it. :D