Check please...

If you'd ask me, Well, Why would anybody commit that mistake, but still, lets say by chance you asked me, That dear, what set of people would you term as the most apprehensive.. Then within a couple of microseconds I'd speak out, without any doubt, Waiters. Yes Sir! The waiters at the restaurants. (If, out of inexperience, you don't know what a waiter or a restaurant is, Click Here)

If you want to get into a black hole of a situation and turn back to ask the dreaded Me, Why ??, it wouldn't take me more than 17 nanoseconds to give you an extremely sharp reply(very sharp hai yaar!) . The reply....

I've been to restaurants many times. I mean I've been eating in restaurants since the age of about 5.. And since then I must've eaten in about, close to 5 different restaurants!! And that’s like I eat out twice a year(Talk about extravagance!). Okay, I'm being a bit Jackie* here.. So what ? Huh!

So every time (5 times!!!!), I go to a restaurant, there's like tables already setup for you with plates, forks, spoons and even napkins. And you can use the napkins for free. They also provide unused toothpicks free of cost after you've eaten. I always get along 10-15 secretly. I have a huge collection of unused toothpicks. I mean its really grand.

Then they also have stuff for you to read.. There's this something called the Meenu card.(Those istupids pronounce it as Menu Card! How foolish!) I'm sure some Indian gal called Meenu invented that concept(We're proud'f you Meenu!!). So on the Meenu, you have thingies you could order out there. Yes!! Order! Just like the your-wish-is-my-command genie type.

There's this friend of mine. She really really really rich (ameer papa kee bigdee huvi aulaad types) and she goes to a restaurant every week. I mean, can you even imagine that !!!! So she has much more experience than me in case of restaurants and waiters... So she told me many things...

for example-

a)In restaurants, it is a tradition to say, "Cheque please" and never say "Oye! Bill laa be!" or something. It is considered bad manners.

But sometimes what she says doesn't work. The last time I went to this 'Cheeku da dhaaba' (Mind it, its a very successful restaurant!!!). And after the eating, I told the waiter..

"Cheque please".

And he said "Saar! Kya check karna hai! Sab theek hee lag raha hai"

"Ohhh... Nono!"

"Cheque! Cheque!"

"Oh saar! Payment cash hee hoga! Cheque to bounce ho jaata hai"

Then I had to resort to "Oye! Bill laa"

And he got the bill.

b) Always! Always give the waiters tips before you leave.

Okay. This is solely the reason why I call waiters the most anxious, apprehensive, ever-worried people. They always want tips. I mean don't they have any self-esteem or confidence ? Always asking for tips from others ??? And I've actually seen that!! The last time I went to a restaurant(Another very successful one I must say), after I'd eaten and paid I called the waiter and said

"Oye! I'm in IIT... Tips chaheye koi ???"

He turned away without saying anything... I guess he must've been trying for AIIMS. Though, I did as she had told me to.

I hope you got your answer. So the next time you strike a lottery or something and get a chance to go to a real restaurant, don't forget the two rules... Ahem ahem.. And stupid its not "Cheque please!".. Its "Check please".. Though I still wonder what is there to be checked!!!!