Revelation

The first part of this article was written in 1931 and the latter part is what I've completed now.

30th April, 1931
In the evening today, for some obscure reason, my room got populated with mosquitos and for a reason obscurer, they started waging wars against me. So I asked my mom to give me the Baygon Spray. While handling the spray she said
"Don't forget to wash your hands after using it"
Something hung my processor and I stood still for a moment before processes could get normal and I asked,
"WHY ?????"
She quickly replied
"Because you have to eat your dinner after that" (My mom's processor is real fast!)
It took me a lot of artificial intelligence and compuational time but I figured out she meant that the intake of the poison could be harmful. I quickly turned to the bottle which said (Yes!.. bottles also speak)
"Insect Killer"
I transferred control to my internal dictionary and figured out the meaning of insect in a giffy. (Ahh I know I'm fast. Thank you :D ). But suddenly lightning flashed with thundering sounds(like in hindi movie), camera zoomed out and I stood there, shocked, still.
Slowly tears rushed down my eyes. (Yes.. Tears rush slowly!). I was shocked. After all these years of thinking I was a man, a human, a homosapien, today life had played a joke with me by make me realize my true identity. I am no more than an insect. *cries* *cries more*

(Few Minutes later)
Uhhh! The keyboard got all wet. Anways. Life is harsh and I cannot bear such harshness so I decided on.......
(just builing up suspense)
Yes I decided on.....
(Mysterious music on)
Yes Yes Yes!!
On suicide!

I was going to kill myself using the insect killer, but suddenly, something struck me..
"If I'm gonna actually kill myself, why don't I do the things I've always wanted to before I die"

30th April, 2006
With that thought, I went out of the house and did whatever I always wanted to do.. (not to be revealed) .But when a few days passed, I though I have done everything and was ready to have the poison, I remembered one more thing. Needless to say, it was a vicious cycle and no matter what I did there was always something to be done. Today, It has been 75 years. And when I look back, I realize why I was wrong!!!

Did you know : Suicide is a criminal offence.
Well, most of us know this fact. If you commit suicide, you are entitled to 7 years in prison and 32000 rupees fine. Fine ? Talking about suicide. There are only two ways of commiting suicide,
1. Consuming Rat-poison/Insect Poison.
2. The remaining methods
Category two is paticularly boring, but today my friends, I choose to throw light on the former method.

Consuming rat poison/insect poison is an inelegant style of killing yourself. So if you're feeling suicidal, remember, this is not the way to do it! Reaching this point, I'm sure you might be wondering the reason to my assertion. Even if you aren't I'll make you read it!
Haha!

Consider this news article in a leading newspaper (thats coz I buy that newspaper),

Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth. We had an interview with the CBI Director, Ramlal Damduja on this, "Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth" he said. He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials. "He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials." said Damduja. Damduja was very disappointed. "I am very disappointed", He added later.

(More on saas-bahu-stuff by my friend odie)

The above article proves that it was Rat Poison that killed a person.(I have known from secret sources and experience that Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was a human).The whole problem lied in the name of the poison. Tell me, If it can kill humans why the bloody hell is it called RAT POISON!

Whatever happened, Now its okay. But in these 75 years I learned one thing.
Don't take life too seriously, 'Coz you're not gonna get out alive and thats how I lived it.