Revelation
The first part of this article was written in 1931 and the latter part is what I've completed now.
30th April, 1931
In the evening today, for some obscure reason, my room got populated with mosquitos and for a reason obscurer, they started waging wars against me. So I asked my mom to give me the Baygon Spray. While handling the spray she said
"Don't forget to wash your hands after using it"
Something hung my processor and I stood still for a moment before processes could get normal and I asked,
"WHY ?????"
She quickly replied
"Because you have to eat your dinner after that" (My mom's processor is real fast!)
It took me a lot of artificial intelligence and compuational time but I figured out she meant that the intake of the poison could be harmful. I quickly turned to the bottle which said (Yes!.. bottles also speak)
"Insect Killer"
I transferred control to my internal dictionary and figured out the meaning of insect in a giffy. (Ahh I know I'm fast. Thank you :D ). But suddenly lightning flashed with thundering sounds(like in hindi movie), camera zoomed out and I stood there, shocked, still.
Slowly tears rushed down my eyes. (Yes.. Tears rush slowly!). I was shocked. After all these years of thinking I was a man, a human, a homosapien, today life had played a joke with me by make me realize my true identity. I am no more than an insect. *cries* *cries more*
(Few Minutes later)
Uhhh! The keyboard got all wet. Anways. Life is harsh and I cannot bear such harshness so I decided on.......
(just builing up suspense)
Yes I decided on.....
(Mysterious music on)
Yes Yes Yes!!
On suicide!
I was going to kill myself using the insect killer, but suddenly, something struck me..
"If I'm gonna actually kill myself, why don't I do the things I've always wanted to before I die"
30th April, 2006
With that thought, I went out of the house and did whatever I always wanted to do.. (not to be revealed) .But when a few days passed, I though I have done everything and was ready to have the poison, I remembered one more thing. Needless to say, it was a vicious cycle and no matter what I did there was always something to be done. Today, It has been 75 years. And when I look back, I realize why I was wrong!!!
Did you know : Suicide is a criminal offence.
Well, most of us know this fact. If you commit suicide, you are entitled to 7 years in prison and 32000 rupees fine. Fine ? Talking about suicide. There are only two ways of commiting suicide,
1. Consuming Rat-poison/Insect Poison.
2. The remaining methods
Category two is paticularly boring, but today my friends, I choose to throw light on the former method.
Consuming rat poison/insect poison is an inelegant style of killing yourself. So if you're feeling suicidal, remember, this is not the way to do it! Reaching this point, I'm sure you might be wondering the reason to my assertion. Even if you aren't I'll make you read it!
Haha!
Consider this news article in a leading newspaper (thats coz I buy that newspaper),
Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth. We had an interview with the CBI Director, Ramlal Damduja on this, "Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth" he said. He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials. "He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials." said Damduja. Damduja was very disappointed. "I am very disappointed", He added later.
(More on saas-bahu-stuff by my friend odie)
The above article proves that it was Rat Poison that killed a person.(I have known from secret sources and experience that Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was a human).The whole problem lied in the name of the poison. Tell me, If it can kill humans why the bloody hell is it called RAT POISON!
Whatever happened, Now its okay. But in these 75 years I learned one thing.
Don't take life too seriously, 'Coz you're not gonna get out alive and thats how I lived it.
30th April, 1931
In the evening today, for some obscure reason, my room got populated with mosquitos and for a reason obscurer, they started waging wars against me. So I asked my mom to give me the Baygon Spray. While handling the spray she said
"Don't forget to wash your hands after using it"
Something hung my processor and I stood still for a moment before processes could get normal and I asked,
"WHY ?????"
She quickly replied
"Because you have to eat your dinner after that" (My mom's processor is real fast!)
It took me a lot of artificial intelligence and compuational time but I figured out she meant that the intake of the poison could be harmful. I quickly turned to the bottle which said (Yes!.. bottles also speak)
"Insect Killer"
I transferred control to my internal dictionary and figured out the meaning of insect in a giffy. (Ahh I know I'm fast. Thank you :D ). But suddenly lightning flashed with thundering sounds(like in hindi movie), camera zoomed out and I stood there, shocked, still.
Slowly tears rushed down my eyes. (Yes.. Tears rush slowly!). I was shocked. After all these years of thinking I was a man, a human, a homosapien, today life had played a joke with me by make me realize my true identity. I am no more than an insect. *cries* *cries more*
(Few Minutes later)
Uhhh! The keyboard got all wet. Anways. Life is harsh and I cannot bear such harshness so I decided on.......
(just builing up suspense)
Yes I decided on.....
(Mysterious music on)
Yes Yes Yes!!
On suicide!
I was going to kill myself using the insect killer, but suddenly, something struck me..
"If I'm gonna actually kill myself, why don't I do the things I've always wanted to before I die"
30th April, 2006
With that thought, I went out of the house and did whatever I always wanted to do.. (not to be revealed) .But when a few days passed, I though I have done everything and was ready to have the poison, I remembered one more thing. Needless to say, it was a vicious cycle and no matter what I did there was always something to be done. Today, It has been 75 years. And when I look back, I realize why I was wrong!!!
Did you know : Suicide is a criminal offence.
Well, most of us know this fact. If you commit suicide, you are entitled to 7 years in prison and 32000 rupees fine. Fine ? Talking about suicide. There are only two ways of commiting suicide,
1. Consuming Rat-poison/Insect Poison.
2. The remaining methods
Category two is paticularly boring, but today my friends, I choose to throw light on the former method.
Consuming rat poison/insect poison is an inelegant style of killing yourself. So if you're feeling suicidal, remember, this is not the way to do it! Reaching this point, I'm sure you might be wondering the reason to my assertion. Even if you aren't I'll make you read it!
Haha!
Consider this news article in a leading newspaper (thats coz I buy that newspaper),
Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth. We had an interview with the CBI Director, Ramlal Damduja on this, "Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was found dead in his room today with something whitish flowing out of his mouth" he said. He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials. "He had been watching too many saas bahu serials, too seriously and was mentally depressed, infact psychotic about the fact that Parvati had been falsely charged of murder in one of the serials." said Damduja. Damduja was very disappointed. "I am very disappointed", He added later.
(More on saas-bahu-stuff by my friend odie)
The above article proves that it was Rat Poison that killed a person.(I have known from secret sources and experience that Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu was a human).The whole problem lied in the name of the poison. Tell me, If it can kill humans why the bloody hell is it called RAT POISON!
Whatever happened, Now its okay. But in these 75 years I learned one thing.
Don't take life too seriously, 'Coz you're not gonna get out alive and thats how I lived it.
Labels: like
16 Comments:
Excellent stuff boss,thoroughly refreshing.
By Pareshaan, at April 30, 2006 12:16 PM
hehhehehehehehhehehehe
hhehehehehehheheh
hehehheheheheh
heheheheh
heheh
heh
he
h
.
yaaarrr..no wunder my dad does nt allow all out mere kamre mein!!!!
I am actuallya mosquito!!!!!!!
*wailssssssss*
tune meri aankhein khol di shilly mani!!!!!!
*wailsss*
By R, at April 30, 2006 9:03 PM
i'll tell u why stupid..because it kills rats, and if used on humans, it is proved that humans need only rat SIZED AMOUNTS FOR POISON..
EG IF THERE IS SMTHNG CALLED AELEPPHANT POISON, U MUST TAKE one tonne to die, assuming u r human...but u can die tiwh only few grams of rat poison
economic benefit!!!
waise, nice chapaat...i like the names
By Phoenix, at April 30, 2006 11:13 PM
Hahahahahaha! CBI Director's statements were awesome! :D
By Sayesha, at May 01, 2006 6:36 AM
Creative yaar, very humorous! News article matches the humor of that 'modern art' post. A pre-major wake up chapaat to you.
By vibhav, at May 01, 2006 8:11 AM
baap re jab dekho tu rehta hai (profile pic)... thakte nahi??
ruk main post padhke aati hu :)
By t, at May 01, 2006 10:16 PM
seriosly..kya thinking hai!...mere is mosquito sized brain mein aise ideas kyun nahi aate..champak gurudev! waah waah...waah waah...ati sundar post. :D
By Neha Sinha, at May 02, 2006 12:52 AM
wat did u do finally...
thow away poison
OR
suicide
OR
killed mosquito
???
dint u like my new post...i mean don't think there was any plagiarism...it was original stuff
there were 2 more, chape type posts,
your SHUBH comments are Welcome.
By Rohit, at May 02, 2006 4:34 AM
RAT POISON is calld rat poison bcz "suicide is a criminal offence!..umm..kahin padha tha!:-p"..and murdering too:)!
7 yrs prison and Rs.32000 fine!!:o :o :o..those who commit suicide shd b sentenced to death(without asking thr aakhri khwahish cz it may take 75 yrs to fulfil them)!!
U lier!Vargamulla Swaminathan Prithamisu did nt commit suicide but parvati killed her & now each family member of saas bahu serial will hav to undergo agnipariksha to prove thr innocence!
Neways the quote was very inspiring!..chapaat to u for tht b-(!!-Ms.Happening!!!
By Anonymous, at May 02, 2006 5:45 AM
I'm out of rat poison! :( Damn!
By Mirage, at May 03, 2006 6:09 AM
Thanks for the suicide gyan....
Never had opportunity to see the rat poison coz right from the begininng my home was chooha rahit.
Thanks to my Mom.....hey, My Mom is not rat poison.
By Abhishek Upadhyay, at May 04, 2006 6:41 AM
@pareshaan
ahh shukriya sir...
15 rupiye bane...
@ram pyari
hehehehhe
ro mat shilly ram pyari
tu machchar nahi hai.. end mein revelation nahi pada kya duffer ?
@feenix
dekh yaar, i'd like 2 say 1 thing
"Theory: A theory is always better than an explanation"
thanks waise
@sayesha
kadakedaar chapaat 2 u under the kaan
dont ask why
@the anon
wahhh maza aa gaya PMW chapaat kha ke
ab to dassi maarunga!
@trups
arre! malum nahi kya?
boost is ze secret of my energy!!
@neha fry
abe thanks yaar ...
waise aise ideas laane ke liye hatela hona mangta
tu normal lagti hai... :(
@odieeeeeeeee
kuch nahi kara maine.. so gaya mai...
waise
ja dekh le gawaar mere shubh comments...
@creeeeeeeepaaaaaaaa
koi sense nahi bana ladki...
aur vargamulla ke baare mein jo paper mein likha hai
wahi sahi hai.. kyuki WOH NEWS MEIN AAYA HAI
aur news KABHI galat nahi hoti! Kabhi bhi !
thanks for chapaat.. tere ko bhi chapaat.. ja ash maar
@miraaj
arre... aapko bataya na!
rat poison se nahi karna suicide..
i will suggest bettah methods!
@abhishek
arre chor kee daadee mein tinkaa..
maine kab bola ke koi rat poison hai..
kya malum yeh guilty feeling kyu hai..
hmmmmmmmmmm
By Kaala Kavva, at May 04, 2006 10:29 PM
abe chape u dont have to laugh if u dont want to...but anyway...your post certainly reflectssome creative thinking
cool effect on the new post
white with blue highlight
wat was written was a repetition of a single sentence...so chape-type chapaat to u.
By Rohit, at May 06, 2006 5:18 AM
Mr X , kya hua? koi suicidial tendency aa gayi kya?
By arpana, at May 08, 2006 9:36 PM
@roadie
nahi nahi
acha tha yaar post.. mai to laafa tha...
effect nahi hai woh.. invisible ink se likha hai :P
and maha-chape-chapaat 2 u!
@arpz
na na suicide kare mere dushman..
suicide to woh sochte hain jinko drame ka maza nahi lena hota.
By Kaala Kavva, at May 09, 2006 2:15 AM
Where did you find it? Interesting read neurontin equate neurontin to clonazepam Indiana automobile seat covers
By Anonymous, at February 15, 2007 12:05 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home