News of the day

In the land of eyesores, I landed today, just to be landed by the blows of boredom. Boredom here signifies the state when one is so bored, one becomes dumb(and numb).

In an alien world today, that formed by one of my cousin sister's engagement(read enjajement), consecrated by my holy tread, consisting entirely of multitudes greybeards and hags(some moustached) and distorted physiognomies(young and old) lruking around with contorted and affected smiles or painful grimaces or radarring necks, I too, moved my head like a radar receiver for time that seemed like years so that my vision could cover light years in search of one visage that could complete my purpose of visit apart from appeasement of some formality-bound host souls. Ofcourse I was disturbed in my intense routine by one or the other relatives who would find me and smile at me, and it was now upon me to go to them and do the touch-my-feet thing to them(what has been instilled in me since a long time now) so that they could call me obidient and intelligent and present them with a figment of self-importance to gratify their voracious need of it. My search yielded results.

After having three blood and brain sucking presentations in a single day which started at eight in the morning, I left college at nine(evening) and all the changing was done in the car. Exasperated as I was, we reached at ten with a ravenously hungry and desperately thirsty me, took one look at the drama that went on in the hall and it didn't take long for the thirst and hunger to scoot away owing to shock and awe. So what was going on ?

Well nothing as serious as you might expect, just some megadecibels of blaring drums with bright yellow sultry lights and camera and some sweat-sodden people dancing in the middle, celebrating the enjajement of some-dear-one. Given the aversion I possess for dancing amongst relatives, my apprehension seemed to throttle me, for the reason that some mentally excited and physically agitated goon might know me and pull me in! But thank goodness, it never happened. Nobody knew me. Only some touch-my-feet type relatives to whom I succumbed naturally and dilligently and such were definately not the people of dance.

So I drifted into the stilted snack-eating audience with grimaces or affected smile and joined the former clan. My search began to search for the miss india in the throng of billions and after years of effort and light years of searching, I found a mildly lookable face. Ah! What great luck! Although she wore an alluring color, but as I said, the specimen was midly lookable. Beggers, I thought, are not choosers so I began working in my prey, watching each of her movements and admiring her mildly comely face. Surprisingly, she kept sitting too, right across me and talking and in the end when I was to move, she would move too.

Enough of leering, I thought, and got a comfortable seat which avoided proximity to known kindred. I was at peace. Alone with just myself and just when it got better, I was told that dinner is served. I hated to get up, but alas, it was the only escape, so I gobbled up quickly(as if that helped) and waited for my parents to eat there food miligram by miligram and say their parting speils while I waiting beside the car. I'm happy to be back home safe and sound.

So that was how, the land of eyesores, granted me a mild-beaut and found me a purpose for an itiose visit. Oh man! But how I hate these marriages and enjajements! But why would you care ?

If it seems weird that mr.chapaat is not ending with a punch line or stupid joke, then make a habit of it. Me has changed. Me annot crack those runtime PJs now, nothing able to whet my wit, I suffer for normalcy. I have lost my superpower of chapaating and am no more than a mere mortal, the mango maan - the aam aadmi - who talks mango, walks mango and does everything mango thing in a mangoish mango manner.

I, I'm sorry to say, have lost it.