I feel nice

I lost the competition today. I feel nice. Don't laugh!
I feel nice because...........Because..... I'm unaffected by losing it. I feel nice again.

If I look carefully, I see something strange. I see a life in everything.
Seems gramatically incorrect ?
I should say, I see a lifetime in everything.
Seems stupid ?
I should maybe simply say, I see that everything is passing.

Don't mock me on this, but when someone dies, I have a feeling that Oh! How much food has been wasted! A very stupid and useless statement to make, I know. But I gotta think what I gotta think.

Finally I think have changed. (No dumbo! Im not talking about clothes!!)
Then you will try to ask.. What, dude, is then the change ?

I knew it was true that everything ends, but had never understood it.
Maybe I do a bit now. I see with my open eyes and I see an expiry date on everything I see and my not being able to read that, is nothing of concern.

That does not mean I'm depressed or can not laugh away at things.
I can still do that. Ha Ha Ha Ha. As I said, its my way of laughing.

My friend Mayuush had this status message yesterday
'After the game is over, The king and the pawn go into the same box' (V. Nice Mayush If you thought of it)

Then I come to realize.
I feel nice.
I realize that everything good or bad, happy or sad, dirty or clean, I have or had... Will for once cease to exist. And this reminds me of only one word.

'Negligible'. That is what I am. That is the worth of whatever I do. Negligible.
And if you're as negligible as me, how does it matter if you or me possess more ?
And if all are negligible, which I with my aching knees, think is true, then who is better or worse ?

Jackying my math skills, I would say, 20 = 10 X 2 (Twice!!!!)

But!! But!! But!!
Whats the difference between 10 and 20 when I start comparing it with infinity.

But again! He has always been with me. He tells me, he's a good friend but I come to realize, very late, of his deceptiveness. He wants to destroy me because that is what will satisfy his evil desires. It is he who gives me the pain everyday but makes me believe he does it for my better.

I feel nice to have discovered, That I may plead a million times, but he would try to not let me go, I have found, He, the daemon is my 'friend' called ego.

I feel nice.
And I'll kill you! (NO! not the reader but my friend)

I get a really amazing feel....
I realize that your commenting on this post will also satisfy my friend! What bloody hypocrisy by me!
And yeah, admitting you're a hypocrite is just a way to Jackie(show-off) how modest you are.
"Yeah! Im so modest!!!"