Chapaat v2.0

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Thank You

When I was in class 3rd, I was a real 3rd class guy. My standard was very low. (Obviously, 3rd is a low standard). I always stood 25th in class. Thats because my name starts with an 'M' and my roll no. was roll no. 25 for many years. And in the line, you had to stand roll no wise. So I started telling everybody that my name is 'Amani', but the A is silent. But I still had this duffer friend called Abhishek who stood first. He never got more than even 90% and told everyone
"Hello Uncle... You know I stand first in class"
Huh!!!

I have to say, I was very intelligent. I was so bloody intelligent, the teachers envied me and never gave me good marks. But thats besides the point. If you're wondering what the title means, I shall start explaining. If you're not wondering, I think you're not wonderful.

So,
When I was in class 3rd, Once a 3rd class teacher was teaching us 3rd class maths. She was telling us
'Deer Istudants.... You cannot substract big numbers from smaller ones'.
(Yes she couldn't say dear... always said deer)

I somehow could not swallow this statement. I even tried Hajmola. But I still couldn't. I had recently worked on the Subspace Field Harmonical Interference of Matter waves and Neutrites that existed 10 km within the crust of the earth and in that project I had to subtract a big no. from a small one. My mind revolted, but my mouth was quite quiet.

I went home. (Obviously after Chhutti time)
I went home and caught my calculator. I clearly remember, I substracted 10 from 5. The answer it showed was -5. The next day the same old 3rd class teacher was teaching. I raised my hand and said in a heavy english accent
"Ah.. Excuse me Madam. I think I suffer from a state of dubiety with regard to substraction technique you had tutored us yesterday..... Madam."

The envious Madam could not understand a bit. So she asked
"Abey S@@le! Ullu de pathhe ! Kya fight hai be tujhe?? "

I being a very calm and composed 3rd grade student said
"Madam, I tried out 5 minus 10 in my calculator. It gave the answer as 'Dash 5'.. Now what have you to say ??"

Madam: "Mr.Amani, you think you are very ismart and intelligent ??"
Me : "Well... Im so modest.. Hence Im not gonna admit that I am"
Madam: "Teri to! S@@le! Battameez!! Silk kee kameez!! Woh bhi fati huvi!! "
The teacher immedietly reported to the principleless principal. He immedietly informed all other principless principals and other members of his fellowship. They all charged against me a case of corrupting the youth of the time with rebelous ideas. All of them reached my class and forced me to drink a glass of poison. I gladly drank it. They felt nice.
I reached home and went straight to the lab. I immedietly took hold of my Field Charged Cat L X- ray machine and fired it on my stomach. They eradicated all the poison particles but some particles had already affected my brain.

Hence, Im not so intelligent as I used to be. :(
____

If you're still wonderful about the topic, I shall tell you the reason now. As I opened my hitcounter site today I saw the total no. of visitors on chapaat was 5963!

Wow! 5963! I have always dreamt of having 5963 visitors on my blog. I think I was in class 3rd only, I remember telling one of my friends
"Dekh lena dost... Ek din mere blog pe 5963 visitors honge!!"
And he laughed! He mocked me! Since that day Ive had this wish ke mere blog pe 5963 visitors ho!

Today my dream has come true and my eyes are wet.
No I didn't wash my face idiot.. Im crying!
"Arre par mani tu ro kyu raha hai ??"
Arre! Yeh to khushi ke aasoo hai paglay!

"Okay mani dear.. On this auspicious occasion.. Please say a few words"
I would like thank you all for your first-time and returning visits to this blog. I like to thank your PCs/Laptops who bring you here. Your ISPs. Your electricians. Your sweepers. Your dogs/cats/mice. Your doodhwaalas. Your sabziwalas. etc etc. In the end, I'd like to thank ..... (This could not be written as Mani was crying badly)

___

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28 Comments:

  • mani maxxxxxxxxxxx sexy post hai
    awesome chapaat
    haste haste mar gayi re....
    aankhon se aansu aa gaye...
    (not sad tears, only happy tears(not happy ke, but khush))
    u are a really third class guy still:D

    By Blogger Phoenix, at November 14, 2005 1:08 AM  

  • tht was really damn gud.enjoyed it a lot:)

    By Blogger shaurya vaani, at November 14, 2005 2:49 AM  

  • @anon
    ROAD CONSTRUCTION OF PA!!!
    Ive been wanting to know about this my whole life!
    Bloody thanks a million!!!
    You're an angel !

    @docs dope
    Oh please dont underestimate yourself. It takes a bigger one to realize the smaller.

    @feenix
    Ty mac
    haste haste mar gayi!!
    mar mat yaar!!!
    Ek kaam kar, serious waale chapaat fir se pad le..
    rote rote zinda ho jayegi !
    waise bhi ur ze feenix! I mean dead bird.

    You're in the same class as me! Hence youre 3rd class too!!!

    @vikram
    No no! shabashi type chapaat 2 u!
    nice 1! hehehe

    @shaurya
    You enjoyed my misery ?????? :(

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 14, 2005 3:18 AM  

  • Back to the usual chapaating way!!
    Aur in khushi ke aanso ko kya "smiling tears" kehte hain??

    By Blogger AJ, at November 14, 2005 4:02 AM  

  • @champa
    Yo maan! Sup dude sup!!!
    How can tears smile ??? Imagine teri aakhon se smiley-type tears gir rahe ho!
    hehehe
    each tear having 2 eyes and a wide smile!

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 14, 2005 4:12 AM  

  • Gosh you deserve one chapaat for this! :D

    By Blogger Sayesha, at November 14, 2005 4:41 AM  

  • @sayesha
    Gosh? Im not bong!
    And you know what! My duffer friend called Abhishek is actually Abhishek Gosh! (he's bong)
    And Thanks for the shabashi chapaat. (I assumed the chapaat 2 be shabashi)

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 14, 2005 5:07 AM  

  • typical mani blog as usual bakwaas 4/10

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 14, 2005 6:59 AM  

  • congrats dude ,5963, now thats a star no....

    the post was awesome. The worksmanship ie the humor that was so prominenetly exhibited throughout the post makes it one of the best reads ever on this blog.

    gr8, keep up the gud work....

    Veeru

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 14, 2005 7:44 AM  

  • @puneet
    4/10 on puneet scale!!!! Oh shit! Im a topper!!!!!

    @veeru
    5963! seriously! what an amazing no,
    thanks veeru.. keep visitin...

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 14, 2005 7:46 AM  

  • Hey Z!!

    That was so cool...I was ROTFL:))

    Shabashi type chapaat to you..back to normal days.Yeayyyyy

    By Blogger Rays Of Sun, at November 14, 2005 8:38 AM  

  • You are welcome. Love visiting ur (second class?) blog..

    By Blogger Tipsy Topsy, at November 14, 2005 9:03 AM  

  • @ros
    Oh ty for calling it cool...
    remember to take a blanket when u ROTFL.. u c its cool na!

    @tt
    Mainay abhi paani peeya, mujhe koi pyaas nahi
    Mainay abhi paani peeya, mujhe koi pyaas nahi
    Chapaat to chapaat hai, nahi aam kuch khaas nahi
    Chapaat ka bas version hai, iski koi class nahi.

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 14, 2005 9:35 AM  

  • Wah wah ! mani, the shayar!
    Shabashi chapaat 2 u..

    Anchal

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 14, 2005 9:51 AM  

  • hi pal!
    really a gud work..keep it up!n congrats!5963...may this number increase to 9653!!
    is post ne to mujhe bhi rulaa diya..n ur welcum on behalf of my ISP's,electrician,sweeper,doodhwala,sabziwala,doggy,cat,mice etc etc etc.
    last but nt the least,a very happy CHILDREN'S DAY to all 3rd class CHILDREN:-p!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 14, 2005 9:52 AM  

  • aur haan..tq 2 u 2..for khushi ke aansoo!!-Ms.D

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 14, 2005 9:53 AM  

  • nice post mani
    but i feel tu class four employee hai

    By Blogger Grease Lightning, at November 14, 2005 10:30 AM  

  • ROTFL Ze. Hilarious is all - I can say.

    By Blogger aria, at November 14, 2005 11:08 AM  

  • what an exaggeration, er.. i mean chapaat, oye tu kya hai be? exaggerator ho ke chapaat marta hai. wonderful chapaat , maza aa gaya.
    amany congrats.

    By Blogger mIncl, at November 14, 2005 10:02 PM  

  • Stop reading Calvin!!
    :)

    ~Prophet

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 15, 2005 12:23 AM  

  • @anchal
    Oh ty ty
    and general chapaat 2 u.. (asiay hee... generally)

    @anon
    *with teary eyes*
    Thanks so much pal... 9653! thanks yaar!
    and ya happy belated childrens day 2 u 2.

    @Ms.D
    Tq tq.. for being so understanding and shedding your precious khushi ke aasoo for my khushi.

    @grease
    Aur to 3rd grade employer!

    @aria
    Thats all u can say-ay
    Thats all u can say-ay
    Thats all u can say-ay
    (remember that dexter episode... omlette du fromage)
    anyways.. Thanks

    @romi
    A many thanks to you..
    Aur chapaater ho ya exaggerator.. naam mein kya rakha hai..
    it is the chapaat that counts!

    @prophet
    I dont...

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 15, 2005 1:07 AM  

  • Excellent read.

    Thanks for dropping by my site and commenting.

    By Blogger . : A : ., at November 15, 2005 6:56 AM  

  • @.:a:.
    now thats a formality.

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 15, 2005 7:02 AM  

  • too good !! i managed not to fall off the chair..but the pop ups r bit irritating..

    By Blogger insane, at November 15, 2005 10:58 AM  

  • @insane
    ty dude
    dont fall... it might be injurious to health.(of the floor)

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 16, 2005 12:41 AM  

  • itna zaada pj waala blog first time dekha. lol. good fun..

    except that, if you don't mind: immediAtely, not immediEtely. and "hence, i'm not AS intelligent as i used to be". (and not SO intelligent)

    sorry, i'm an english teacher on halloween's.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 16, 2005 5:30 AM  

  • @methinks at gmale

    ty and ty and ty
    The 'immedietly' is poor spelling knowlegde.

    but im not as intelligent is double-mindedness.

    thanks again.

    By Blogger Kaala Kavva, at November 16, 2005 6:09 AM  

  • best mortgage

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 05, 2006 11:49 PM  

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