Tag... Tag pe Tag... Tag pe Tag.. Insaaf kab milega Milordd ?

As soon as I start reading a friend's blog, my heart start beating. Yes, my heart is really violent. So it starts beating. I mean it was always beating even before but now its does even harder.

What man! You didn't even ask Why ? Damn you. I'll still tell you. :P. The reason being tagophobia. People tend to tag around quite mercilessly. If the post I'm reading is a tag, then I start to get out of control so I reach to the bottom first to check if my name is there in the victims list. The bad news. I've been tagged. The badder news. I've been tagged twice. There's no baddest news. And also, its not badder and baddest but worse and worst you dumbo! Forgiving you we move head. Oh! I must warn you... don't actually move ahead Mr.Bean. You might actually end up with your head in your monitor and then your monitor will stop working. Then how will you read the rest of the post ?

Think before you act.

[[Shuks!.. I can never become a bollywood star. :( ]]

Mr.Hopeless Anuj has tagged me in the most wicked manner. The have two write 8 bloody points about my perfect lover. (The 'bloody' part is optional though). While most people would have problem in coming out with one solution for this problem, I boast of having 2 solutions. So sit back and relax, while you read '8 points about my perfect lover'

Solution 1:

. ::::. ::::.

. My Perfect Lover .
. ::::.::::: .

How does it look ? Ha ?
Neat na ?


Solution 2:
Necessary Condition: It should be a bandi/girl/female/ladki/senorita/chhokri/etc/etc . Any one of the following. (But not more than one states permitted)

8 auxillary conditions:
a. She should be just like me or better than me (Difficult case). But she should.. I mean.. Absolutely HATE crime. Like, you should always have some usools in life. Right ? She should have many of them.
b. She must be able to endure me, my jokes, my moods and my odd enough nature. (Not the trees plants waali nature stupid! Nature as in my nature.. Get it ?Huff!)
c. I hate dictators. Thats why Mussolini and I could never be good friends... You get the point.. don't you ?
d. She must have a sense of humor. A bad one rather and a sharp one. So that I don't keep cracking jokes in the air for no one to understand.
e. She should not believe in formality just like I don't.
f. She should hate what I hate. I mean she should hate lying. (Not lying on the bed! You dim wit)
g. Did I mention she should love me? I mean absolutely senti on me ? I mean bent upon. I mean mad about me or something ? Did I meantion that ? Uhh No ??? What a phool I am. (Filavar wala phool you fool)
h. She could be beautiful. (Damn! I'm putting this as the last point and that too as optional. What a hypocrite I am)

[[What a redundant list. Shame on me :( ]]
[[Hey!!!! But you cannot say that. You must appreciate! ]]


Mr.Vikram has tagged me too. More wickedly that too. This is a dangerous tag. There's these words and I have to use these bloody words once only and make a story out of them.
I, me, blow job, grapes, random, power, loneliness, water, robot and blue.

My wonderful dimaag has come up with 2 unique solutions for this problem also!

Let me now start.
Solution 1: I love my robot. It is blue in color and runs on solar power. It does not need food or water. It can even serve me grapes while playing random songs at the same time. It is the besy way to kill my lonliness. The only thing it cannot do for me is give me a blowjob.

Solution 2:
Ramu kaka was 16 when all this happened. His name was still Ramu Kaka. That is because he kept on babbling random stuff like crows. Hence named KaKa. One fine day, Ramu kaka was having a bath. Did I forget to mention that Kaka had long hair. Really long. So while bathing his hair got soaked with water. But Ramu was scared of nothing. Why should he even be ? Where did scared come in here ??? Now read on!

Ramu came out of the shower wearing nothing but a small blue towel(you know where) and wet hair. He has feeling very cold as he had a wet head. So as soon as he plugged the device in, the power went off. Ramu was in a state of disgruntled confusion. Why could he have done while no one was at home. Not even electricity. Even his robot's battery had finished. But next to his house, lived an old lady. She was rich and alone. She even had an inverter at home. So Ramu decided to go to her house.

Ramu jumped the terrace of his house onto the next one in the same condition. He knocked the terrace door. The old lady opened the door while with some yellow colored grapes. Ramu was a confident and a straight-foward boy and said to the lady,
"There's no electricity at home and my hair's wet. Can you give me a blowjob ? Please ?"
Ramu had heard of this word many times and used it where he thought if fit best. Ramu had done nothing wrong. Afterall, with no electricity at home, how could he have operated the hair-dryer ?

The lady looked at him in surprise.
"You look really young but you're one naughty boy." and winked at him. Ramu could not understand what she said but he was happy she agreed. She took him inside.
"Why don't you remove that towel now ?"
"Why should I remove the towel ?"
Ramu suspected something was wrong. This lady had cracked up living with her lonliness. Her intentions did not seem good. As she drew near, Ramu kaka wondered what to do. The lady was now out of control and pulled his towel off out of excitement. Ramu scream, shrieked and ran. He ran with all his might, up to the terrace and back into his home.

The lady was arrested for molestation of kids.
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I am a kind and a compassionate person. I do not tag noone. Anyone who wants to do it is welcome.
[[Sheesh! What a cliched line nowadays]]