Saivan saivans are fotty naa-een

I'm gonna quit blogging.

For a fortnight. Yes I'm quitting it for 15 measley days. I'm quitting chatting too.I'm addicted to checking my mail. I check it 342.88728 approx times a day even when no one mails me. So maybe I'll reduce the number to 1.Currently, I'm damn sleepy. I had an awesome meal just now. And I'm damn sleepy... Well I know you will try to ask this question, that if I'm sleepy, why the bloody hell am I writing a post.. I consider this as one of those questions which when asked to me, I would try to answer but would not be able to. So please don't ask me this question. (I know you can understand how drowsy I feel)


But firsssssttttt! (mask style)
I must complete this tag conferred upon me by Aria Madame

7 thingies I wanna do before I die
1. Write down 6 thingies that I want to do before I die
2. Do those 6 thingies that I wanted to do before dying.
(Hai na mast recursive thingies!)
Sorry, I don't WANT to do anything. I say anything that happens is fine.

7 thingies I don't do ennjoying.. err.. I don't enjoying doing
7. work
6. flattery
5. watching people watching cricket.
4. thinking about things I don't enjoy doing
3. murdering people
2. reading news
1. lying

7 thingies I say most often
7. Chall hatt bhikari (to frnd and all)
6. Anpad
5. Chape
4. HhahahHAHhahahhHAHA (I laugh most'f the times)
3. haan haan has le.. gareebo ka to har koi mazaak udaata hai.. ab to aadat see ho gayi hai
2. Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii keh do ke yeh jhooth hai
1. bhans kee aankh
0. Bloody!
-1. Damn eveybody!!!

7 books I like
1. Arre anpad, padi hongi to like karunga na!
2. I haven't read a single book in my life except 5.someone and that was barbaad!

7 movies I watch and gain and gain.. oh I mean again and again
7. Forrest Gump
6. Godzilla
5. Matrix
4. Andaaz apna apna
3. T2
2. Forrest gump
1. Godzilla
0. Matrix
I can watch any movie on TV but I like none on ze hall.

7 things that attracted me to blogging
7. I wanted to write a diary
6. I wanted to make myself laugh in the future
5. I wanted to make my friends laugh
4. I wanted to express my feelings and writings
3. I want to sleep....zzzzzzzzz

I'm too sleepy to tag anyone..
Take this tag if you want to.
Today is 20th feb. See you on 5th march.

(The title is the first thing I remember when I hear the word 'seven')

Dramatic Chapaat to Hima

Characters:
1. Me (Leading actor)
2. Hima (Leading Victim)
3. Patti (Supporting Actor) (Very supportive guy (cow nahi boy)..)
4. Alto (Guest Appearence)
5. My mom.

Scene 1: Somedate, Somemonth, 2004
Me (on phone): Hey you Hima! Come to me house. I have to show you something. Hurry!
Hima: Okay! I'm there

Hima starts running to me house.


I must tell you here,
Hima does sound like Hema Malini, but,

Hima is a boy, for example,

And not a girl, for example

.






Scene 2: Flashblack
Alto is one of our friends. I must tell you here,

Alto is a person, for eg.

And not a car!! For example,

So Alto being one of my friends has been, since childhood, a very intelligent guy. So this time alto had developed an FM transmitter that transmitted at 99 Mhz. Its mic was so sensitive that keeping it in one corner of the room, the conversation going on in the entire room could be heard by patti, who had switched on his radio in his house. Patti lived 50m away.

I must also tell you,

Patti is a human being, for eg.

And not a plaster, for eg.

Then, we had a plan,

No dumbo! Not this type of plan!

The plan was, I hid the transmitter inside one of the sofas in my drawing room. (Where I make drawings and stuff) and all I said in the whole room was easily audible to patti 50m away. Then....





Scene 3: Hima Arrives Hurriedly
Me: Hima!!! Sit! Sit! Me: I have to tell you something very urgently. Listen, it is great news and I do not expect it to tell it to anyone.
Hima(Getting anxious): Cut the crap and tell me what you're trying to say.
Me: Okay Hima.. Here goes.. I have been doing some work.. And now I can control people.
Hima: Ya sure. Control me.
Me: No No! I'm not kidding. I can actually control people. You want to see a demonstration ?
Hime: Yes!
Me: Okay.. See I will control Patti.. He will call you right now.

I sat down and closed my eyes. And I concentrated and said
"Patttttiii!!! Hima ko phone karo!" in a stupid voice 2 -3 times. The obidient patti called hima on his cell asking him if he wanted to meet after dinner. Hima said no.
Hima: I know you guys have planned it. You think I'm a fool ?
Me: Okay.. You want him to call you again ?
Hima: Yes...

The same concentration act and patti who's hearing everything, calls and talks about something random. Hima is now a bit surprised.
Hima: I know you're fooling me! I know patti's somewhere in your house!!
So he started looking around my house for patti. He looked in the rooms, behind the doors, in the bathroom.. He even looked in my almirahs and inside the pot. There was no patti at me house.

Me: Okay ? You want patti to SMS you now ??
Hima: No! Tell him to call me again.
Me: No problems!
Me sits with closed eyes and his cell rings. Patti has got enough arbit talk to call 3 times.. Now hima is a bit moved.

Hima: Okay! Now I want him to SMS me!
Me: Okay... What should the SMS say ??
Hima: I love you.
Me: hahaha.. No problem.

I command patti to SMS an I love you to hima. Hima is more than shocked when phone informs him of a new message. Hima reads the message. It says I love you. And hima starts jumping. He got so excited, frantic rather.

He called Patti.
Hima: What does this I love you mean ??? Huh ???
Patti: Oh I'm sorry.. I was sending it to somebody else.. By mistake sent it to you. (What a careless excuse!!)

Hima hung up and started dancing. Now he believed I was a perfect psychic.

For example,

Hima: Where did you learn this stuff from ? Please teach it to me.
Me: I learned it from the internet but I cannot teach you.
Hima: No!! Please teach me! Please! It will solve all my life's problems! Please!!!!
Me: But then you'll control me.
Hima: If you will control me, then I will control you.
Me: Wait till tomorrow hima. It takes 2 days to attain full control over one person. Wait till tomorrow and you won't even know whats happening to you.
Hima was so scared, he could've peed then!

Hima: Oye! Don't even think of trying such stuff on me! We've had a yagya in our house. And if you try something like this on me, it'll mirror back to you! Don't do it!! You'll regret!

A yagya, for example

Me: I'm afraid of no one! You wait and see Hima! You wait and see!






Scene 4:
Hima, the clever mind, had an idea. He went to my mom, but I had already told mom that we're gonna play with hima so not to let anything out.

Hima: Aunti. See what sort of things he is doing!
Mom: He's mad! He won't study himself and will not let anyone else study! (the days before JEE)
And mom went away to let hima sit, alone, in fear.

Hima, scared, wondered what was going to happen to him when I controlled him. How would he save himself ?

Me: Hima.. Don't worry. I won't make you do wrong things!
Hima: Please my friend. Please teach this to me! Please!
Me: Sorry dost.
Hima: Okay! Then I'll call patti and tell him what you're doing to him.
Me: You want me to get the cordless or you'll use your cell ?? Ha ha. I have no fear. I can control him, dude!
Hima was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So I thought I must break to him, the good-news.

Me: Hima, I want to show you something.
I took out the hidden transmitter making him realize it was all a joke and he started abusing and hitting me while I kept laughing!!

Suddenly, Mom entered.
Mom: Hima, please come inside and have dinner.
Hima: Please let me sit here for sometime aunti. I'm dumbfounded. So mom went inside.
Me: Arre... Come on yaar! Have dinner.. I will not control you.!!! Hahaha
Hima was silent.

The End:
I went inside and after sometime, the door was open and there was no hima. (He didn't die dumbo! He went home!). This was how Hima got a dramatic chapaat. And Hima, Me, Patti and alto lived happily ever after.

Daalchini

Mom's not at home. She'll be back in some time. Tell me. What do you do when you're hungry ? When you're as bloody hungry as a hungry lion who bloody hasn't hungrily eaten for the bloody past 3.772 hungry days ? No No! I'm not going to hunt a deer now. I'm so hungry, I don't think I'm in India, I feel as if I'm in Hungary.

Once lurked a hungry lion, not to mention his 3.772 approx days old hunger. He was a youthful lion, naive thus. His mom had always taught him to hunt. She had told him about the velocity considerations, angle of approach and striking ratio while hunting deers, buffalos etc but what she had always made him remember was to never even go close to a human.
"Humans, my cub, are inhumane. "
His mom's word echoed in his ears. But today he was alone. Did I mention the lion's name was 'Daalchini'. Oh I didn't ?? I'm sorry. Daalchini's name was Daalchini (Irony hai na? Lion ka veg naam!) . Daalchini's mom had set him free. She had taught him the lessons she thought he needed and left him, left him to hunt and eat on his own, left him to fight and struggle, left him for him to make a career.. Left him to live his life. Daalchini was deplorable, furthermore hungry.

Where had the dear deers gone ? Those savory, juicy creatures. Suddenly, he heard a sound. No! He heard many sounds! Yes! It was them! The dearest deers! Quickly Daalchini, as taught, ambushed in the bushes. Shedding his naiveness, he jumped out too quickly but by fortune grabbed a tiny one. Pinku was the tiniest of the lot. Pinku skreiked and cried. Daalchini was a sensitive lion. For a moment he pitied pinku and wanted to let him go, but his hungry body would not let him. Pinku was no more.

Though pinku was tiny, he was enough to satiate Daalchini for a long time to come, about a day. Daalchini was restless. This was the first time he had actually killed some creature by his own hands. He had always got already dead food. But today, he made it himself! He looked at his hands. His yellow-golden paws appeared red. Red. Red. Bloody Red! Red damn it! Red! Daalchini could not speak.(Ofcourse, he was alone, kisko bolta ?). He could not sleep. He was in pain. Having devoured an innocent creature, was it worth filling his stomach ? Was his hunger greater or the pain he caused to pinku. Daalchini trembled, but the allayed body slept.

The glaring sun came up with a new morning. But wait, where's daalchini ?...
Daalchini had made his decision and he was a rebel. He set out to live a clean life. A life with no blood or war. A life where he would not have to kill with bare hands to live. He headed to the centre of the inhumanes... 'CITY'!.Daalchini was scared of the inhumanes, but his conscience left him with no choice.

It was now dark and Daalchini had found an even darker alley to spend the, yet again hungry night. This restful moment was preceded by occasional high-pitched-shreiks and stick-n-stone followings of Daalchini around the city. Now he was safe. Atleast he thought he was. Daalchini dreamt nicely of deers, buffaloes and other skinned animals, but he woke up with a pang. There was something pinching in his back and there were many a scared people shouting at him and running as he rose up. He felt as if he'd taken a shot of marijuana. It was soothing and comfortable. He fell again.

Daalchini smelt food in front of him. He woke up to bite unaware of his surroundings and as he finished he noticed a crowd of screaming kids around him behind a cage. Reference frame matters you see. :) Both were happy. Daalchini and his conscience.

---

The sad part of this post was written when I was hungry. Then mom came. I'm satisfied now, hence a happy ending!

She killed my cat, I killed her.

There are almost 2.000000277(approx) types of people in this world-
1. People who have a negative IQ and keep doing classifications on people.
2. The rest.

Unrelated: I was once a workaholic and people used to tell me,
"All work and no play, Makes jack a dull boy"
I used to thank mom, my name's not jack.

The english were smart people. Sidenote: Have you ever noticed the name of the language and the name of the people of a place is same. English and english. Spanish and spanish. German and german. Etcetera and Etcetera. (See the irony, Sidenote in the middle). The english were smart. I say so because of the technique they used to vanquish the Indians, called Divide and Rule, rocks. It always works. At minor levels like friends too. People will try to break you off from your friends to make you dependent on themselves and then they relish the power. The power to control the other. The power to say No! But why should I be concerned ?

I am a jolly guy. Mostly. (No offences meant to my friend named jolly.) And I keep saying that nothing's bad nothing's bad. But it becomes difficult sometimes to tell others the same they when they're not feeling good about something. I can be harsh on myself but not on others. I can console myself but I'm too bad when it comes to others. But I generally keep saying that there's nothing bad about anything and most probably the other person is thinking
"This naive kid shall know what life is one day".
(Don't ask me how I know what the other guy thinks.. I'm not allowed to tell anyone that I'm psychic(Abey! Psycho nahi Psychic!))
But let the others think what they want to. Why should I be concerned ?

If you ever feel you have been admired, think 21.7 more times. Appreciation is a tough one honey. It has most probably been done to pacify you, but blame and slander is as easily available as salt in the dead sea. Ha ha. Look at the irony. People defame others all their lives and praise them posthumously. "Kitna bhala aadmi tha". Now how does it even matter ?

Is there anything that if I don't get to know will finish my purpose of living ? Is there any such fact or incidicent, I do not know about will diminish my identity ? Is there any such thing I can not live without knowing from others ? Maybe yes. But I have taught myself to answer this question as No. Just for me. And hence I say, She used to kill the cats. Then she killed my cat. I killed her.

Lion

Jaane kyu yeh log chasma laga ke ghoomte hain,
yeh aakhein kaha jhooth bolna chhodti hain..

Jaane kyu log paraye ko apna samajh lete hain,
yeh nadeeyan kaha apna mukh modti hain..

Kya malum, kyu log in chahaato ko liye firte hain,
yeh kambakht chain hamaraa hamesha hee todti hain..

Kisko malum yeh pyaar kis chidiya ka naam hai,
pyaar ke to sirf naam ke hee chaadar, jhoothi yeh duniya odti hai..

Apne jeevan mein prem, dekha hai mainay jhootha
apnay hee sukh ke peeche, jhoothi duniya yeh daudti hai..

Pyaar to hota nahi sacha, aisa mainay farz kiya thaa,
par lo sun lo, jo bade bado ne arz kiya tha.....

--
Mere toote huve paaye talab ka mujhpe aaisaan hain,
tumhaare dar se ab uth kar kahi jaaya nahi jaata..

Mohabbat asal mein makhbool woh raaz-e-haqeeqat hai,
samajh mein aa gaya hai, fir bhi samajhaya nahi jaata..

Mohabbat ke liye kuch khaas dil makhsoos hote hain,
yeh woh nagma hai jo har saaz pe gaaya nahi jaata.
-- (Ghaalib)

------

Yeh pad ke Mr.The Anonymous ne bola

Jaane kyun is pyaar ko jhoota bolte hain,
zara aas paas nazar uthaa kar to dekho,
Khud hi to hazaar shartein rakhte ho yaar ke liye,
Ek baar khud ko pyaar ke raaste se hata kar to dekho.

(Waah yaar waah!)

Do a good deed

I entered into the elevator of the CS department and after me entered two CS proffessors. One was an old but a tall guy and the other one was Sack. Yes. I wonder too. What kind of a name is Sack ? I mean he looked pretty normal to me. (No, not pretty, just normal).. In no way did he resemble a sack. I don't think we could carry coal in him. He's definately not a sack. That for sure! Or maybe I've not heard the name properly. Maybe he's a Computer Sc. guy so they call him stack and maybe a short form of stack is sack. *shrugs* I just don't know.

So as I was saying.. Ummm... No No! I was typing! So as I was typing, Sack(or Stack) entered after me into the lift and those guys were discussing about some disease.

"... There the most popular disease is blah blah", He said.
I don't remember the name of the disease. Sounded like he'd imported one from somewhere. Oh and did you notice, its the most 'popular' disease somewhere.

So in this place they say
"Hey dyood! You know what ?? I got my results today"
"What What ? You must've got an A or A+ or A++ ??"
"No dumbo! I got the medical test report! And I got the blah blah disease"
"Oh WOW!!!!! You're so... so... so.. lucky! " *with mouth open*

I hate digressions. So after saying the much appreciated statement at which the tall old man nodded his head in affirmation, Sack said
"If you get that disease, to bas kaam ho gaya"
So the old man asked "Kaam ho gaya ?? Means ??"
Sack: "I mean, you get that disease and you will die sooner or later."
I had to stop my laugh there or I might have died there soon enough, even without the blah blah disease.

But come to think of it... (Aaaaaah! Thinking makes my knees pain...aaaaaah!)
So if I try my best and come to think of it, I think that sack did a good deed today. It would be foolish of you to say "What bloody good deed ?". Okay, If you admit you're foolish and have continued to read, I'll disclose it to you.

Lemma: Sack.deed_done() = Good;

Claim: If he wouldn't have made such an amazing statement, how would I have satisfied my crave to write a chapaat today.

Proof: Sack.deed_done() + Mani.StupidSenseOfHumor(Today) -> (Chapaat v2.0).chapaat();

How How ? So I now proclaim loud, Do a good deed everyday for you never know, some blogger might just be around. Afterall, 'Deewaaro ke bhi blogs hote hain'. Oh and by the way, Sack's name is not Sack. Its SAC. His initials. I fooled you all this time. Hahahaha.