Chapaat v2.0

Friday, September 30, 2005

Reality Bites ??.. Yes it does!!

In the fluid mechanics class today, suddenly Creepu(my sorta best frnd) shouted "THIS VELOCITY HERE..."

Everyone laughed.. but creepu was embarrassed ..

Reason: Sir was explainin' a question when he said
"Lets say this velocity here...." and paused to think when creepu took over.....

(Keep wondering the relation of the title and this para)
___

Talking of a person who believes in himself and his abilities ...
If he wins, he's called confident.
If he loses, he's called overconfident.

___

In a relationship, the help, care or service is remembered as impression or maybe not even.
But a fight, betrayal or evil behavious is remembered as action, which constantly decays impression.

Labels:

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Current Status

Since the 3rd semester has started, I feel chill.
As chill as cold. Not the shiver chill for chill as in relaxed.
I have nothing... absolutely nothing... to do...
I sit in front of my PC checkin every damn blog in the world and commenting.
I keep pressing the 'Check Updates' button from time to time.
If anyone has any work that I can do for them, like assignements, programs, searchin etc etc please tell me.. I'll be happy to help.

I have my minors next week, but I dont think I have much to study....
So any help needed ???




*



I was just eating this American Corn.. And as I ate I wondered.
How do these people extract this corn ?? I don't think they peel it.
They Pluck it!!!


(See... you can even see its root)
But how ??



*



My friend PG and I had a bet yesterday. She says I cannot stop cracking stupid PJs..
So now for 1 week, I will not crack senseless or sensible PJs for that matter. Infact, I plan to write serious chapaats.
Till now, I have been awesomely successful.



*



"But.. I dont have MS word..", says Me...
"WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ???"

Dead bird's mouth was left open when I told her this...
So I decided I must download word.. .Thats what I'm doing now...

*






Dead bird got this in email and I found it amazing.



*

Dead bird again...

I seem to remember one of dead bird's posts.. it was like..


TUESDAY , SEPTEMBER 06, 2005
The Zeroth Commandment

Smile.
Come what may.

THATS ALL DEAD BIRD HAD TO SAY AT 12:40 AM 15 REACTIONS





Nicely said... But...
I would need to change it a bit...







TUESDAY , SEPTEMBER 06, 2005
The Zeroth Commandment

Smile.
Come what may.
Smile Only.

THATS ALL DEAD BIRD HAD TO SAY AT 12:40 AM 15 REACTIONS


_________

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Whats your age, Dude ???

Whats your age ?

Recently, an old aunti (thats how u refer to grown up women...) came to my house.She had bright red lipstick and kajal and maskara and had used several other make-up devices. She also had white hair... but had dyed them black.

I don't understand what fight people have while telling their true age.. To people here I refer to female people specifically. It is the feeling they bear, that being of a young age makes them look more beautiful.

When you're a kid you wanna grow old
When you're a youth, you wanna be a kid
When you're old you wanna be youthful again
When you're dying, you wanna live as you did.

Anyways... talkin about the old aunti.

My mom has, since my childhood, instilled in me, the habbit of touching elder people's feet. So I went down to touch aunti's feet and she instantly sprung back like a rocket, as if I were gonna strike her with a BMG-Pistol. She survived the bullet and said
"Oh god! What are you doing!! Im not that old!"

Embarrassed, due to the futile feet-touch, I smiled, but thwarting my inward feelings and thinking "Aye haye!!!! If you're jawaan, Im unborn"

My boiling emotions spilt out.. my thinking absconded... my shame vanished
and mouth uttered
"Oh aunti .. But you look very old.."

Aunti had to be atleast 60... Im sure..
Her face hung, eyes out, mouth open .....

The mouth was so lawlessly open, a mosquito went inside..
She choaked and coughed.. I gave her water and waiter for her to recover...

As soon as she looked fit n fine, I asked her ...
"Aunti...Trust me... You look old... By the way, Whats your age..."

She rebounded...
"Im not old !!", and laughingly tried to cover her wrath against the ruthless me....

"So whats your age ??".. I insisted....

"Im only 39 yrs old"...

"Gotcha! So you admit you're OLD!!!"

Aunti, now, got a bad chapaat...
now she had a broken heart
her anger, now she had to hold
as she blabbed out, that she was old...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

General Chapaat

(Courtesy: Anonymous)
______


I was once travelling by autorickshaw...
So at a turn he asks me...
"Sir, left ??"
I said "Ya! right!"
He turned right....

Chapaat... aur kya ??

____

Monday, September 26, 2005

Aaj kee taaza khabar

There are some people who have tried to call me corny. I'm unaffected.

As I was eating corn, relaxing and reading blogs, I stopped reading blogs.. to get a hold of my newspaper.
First, if you're hungry I'll try to make you jealous by putting a pic of the corn I was eating.


(Damn Tasty) (Hungry kya ?)

Anyways
I was going through the newspaper watching pictures and reading titles when I suddenly saw this stunning
article.
After reading the article 2-3 times I realized that this was one of those articles I have always waited for.
(Then there was triumphant background music indicating triumph)












This was... An encrypyted article.
For some reason the newspaper did not want everyone to know of this news...
So I set out to the encoded-article-decoder machine in my decipher-lab #4..
I have invented this machine long ago but never found something so beautifully encoded such as this article.

My Lab #4. (Yes yes I have 19.32 decipher-labs in my house...Lets not talk about the phy chem and maths labs)


My Lab #4


















The beauty of this article is, that if you try to read this article, you will read plain english, but what is hidden inside is a very secret message about
IITD and the share market(as indicated by the title)













The article was so highly encrypyted, even the photo was encrypyted!
This is the article.


(Read and tell me if you understand anythin)























I now present to you, the decoded version which conveys the complete truth about the
happening in IITd.

The decrypted Article

In IITD, the load of studies ___This could have some adverse
is getting a little too much____effects too. Like what hapnd.
to bear for any damn stud- __ _ to Mr.Gupta who is an IITian.
ent. So these science geeks ____Mr.Gupta was really into this
have now transformed into _ __ _MoneyBhai Stuff,later, greedily
bloody share-traders, mak- ___ _fell into the hands of the real
ing millions each day. ______ _ stock market where he lost some
_______________________ ________bloody million bucks. Worrying
Some arbit IITian called ___ ___about stocks, he got an F in
mani has started a new ____ ___ all his exams,lost all his hair
arbit stock site called __ __ __due to tension also.
www.moneybhai.com
where a person gets 10 lakh ___ Alas, nothing is able to stop
virtual bucks and can invest ___such insanely irresponsible
and gain profit to win inaams __addictions to stupidity.




The decrypted photograph















Please say wow!!!!!!
Thanks

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Friends are for free....n

It makes me feel weird for going 3 days without posting or even reading all the blogs nicely...
Rendezvous(RonDevu) @IITD is to be blamed.
We left collez at 4AM and slept at around 5-6 everyday....
I don't like the events that much but the environment is so enthusiastic that anyone could enjoy.

What I have in mind today, unfortunately or fortunately, I fail to decide, is serious, long and deviating from human relationship norms.. You could've guessed it by the post title.

Everyone has an opinion about almost everything and I feel it should be, most certainly, respected.
This.. is mine...

Ive heard many believingly say, that their friends are their life. But when I come to think of it, I say that friends are for free...Obviously, free does not mean free of cost but free here signifies a very small amount of significance. Why I shape my feelings in such a fashion, certainly has a reason.

All of us, at a point of time, have a person called a pal or a best friend.
(Good friends of mine are called macs)
During study or play or work, we all befriend many, befriend just to leave them one day.
When the two so called best friends have distances to bear, their friendship behaves in the same way.. I'm not putting a theory or imposing my thoughts but I expect the reader to recall some of his/her own experiences, to remember someone who was once his/her life and currently you haven't talked to him/her for ages... I have many such. I have friends without whom I felt fractional... and now its been a while since I might have even talked.

When I say friends are for free, I do not mean to undermine any of the close relationships you might have with anyone but just intend to say that they are temporary and there is no one to stay with you. Every person has only a handful or even less people, whom he can acclaim to be true friends... But when desires clash, desires being material or egoistic or various others, friendships suffer.

Friends keep coming and going, that too very easily.
And Im sure there'll be one day you'll think not so grandly of your best friend as you do today.

Friendship is inwardly based on trust.. But outwardly on sweet words.
.Friendship internally balanced ie trusting friends and sweet outwardness can last long.. (but it will cease one day)
.Friendship without trust, but only evil sweet language is baseless, which is mostly the case with standard normal friends..
.No trust and no fragrance of language leads to aversion.

When one meets a person, he/she is utterly careful about uttering only the utterable to maintain and mature the relationship but later this vigilant attitude, not completely though, but vanishes. A very high priority is given to the person which is only temporary.

If, at starting point of a relation, you have a positive view about a person, you want to befriend the other person... Sometimes the friendship becomes very close and the closer you get to a person the more vices you discover. Alas, the consequence, is clear.

No one makes friends for others but only for oneself. A relation is continued for oneself and terminated for the same cause. Once we are not receiving felicity from the relation, we tend to break it. What we know as normal and standard friends are certainly free free free..
The break-and-make-easily kind. I feel in lettin go.
If a person or even a 'Good friend' cannot live with me, I am ever-ready to drop another friend as I must do sometime later.

Making a friend such a standard friend is an easy job too.. You just have to speak some nice words and Wallah! you've got yourself a closing relation.

Friends ultimately are only for sharing things, you cannot share with others or maybe timepass. Again, going by nature's rule I say No one is for ever.

One cannot do without friends, but when friendships rise, so do expectations.
Wise classify 3 indicatives of a fool
1.Useless actions
2.Useless speaking
3.Useless expectations
It is a sin to expect.
If the expectation can hinder the other person's happiness, you're going to get ditched badly.

I obey the human terms of friendship just because it is necessary for me to.
And Im not bothered if someone has a million grudges against me.
Im not afraid to break any relation beacuse I'll certainly have a replacement because there are several who have done what I have and search for a replacement themselves.

This may sound pessimistic but I consider it to be realistic.
If a friend of mine has spotted something very ill, I expect it to be said on my face.
Oh wow! another expectation, another sin.

Lastly, I never ever mean to say Im free from the standard traits of a easy-make-break friend..
I have many and for many I am such a friend.
It is just that I speak of my experiences which provides a platform to improve.

(There are some people who proclaim someone as their lifelong friend and that may prove to be true but the amazing point here is, it is only Lifelong.)

[[I know I might have missed out on somethings or maybe generalised things but I speak not of the exceptions.. I speak in a very standard and normal context]]

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I won!!!!!!!!

As I reached home after collez today,
I picked up The Hindustan Times and checked the competition results..


Causing the biggest wave of astonishment, I read my name..... I won!

There was this unique poem wiriting competition in hindi or english.... and I wrote this articulate poem.... It won!!!!!

Im famous... and if I can be assumed to be rich..
I would be shortly making an appearence on
"Lifestyles of the richchchch.... and famous"(to be said in a fat voice)

Obviously, My poem follows.....

____________

My Safar

Jab se chala hu mai,
pata nahi woh kab thaa,
tab se ab tak, chala hee hai,
ruka nahi mai tab kaa.

Or maybe, I did pause,
in the mediate regions,
maybe fatigue was the cause,
or maybe various other reasons..

Rukna chalna to laga rehta hai...
par, pahucha kaha pe hu mai ?
mera man, ab mujhe kehta hai,
jaha se chala, bas wahi tu hai....

But the reason remains a mystery,
though all mysteries shall be solved,
when I reach with feet, paining, blistery,
enduring the painful pains involved.

Na chalne ka karaan mai jaanata nahi
aur jaanunga tab, jab mai chal paaunga
arre par, yeh kyu mera man maanata nahi..
aisay to infinite loop mein, ghoomta reh jaaunga..

Then, I must say, I shall never reach,
thus, only one option is left to be,
That the promise to reach I shall breach,
I shall not go, the destination shall come to me.

___________

If you understand it, then tell me also... Thanks

(Oh ya.. The competition thing was all fake)
(Now that was a chapaat 2 u) :D

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Arbit



______

Update: (explanation)
This could be known as, what we generally call, a cryptic post.. and contains subtle humor(atleast for me it does)
my friends disregard this post, by sayin "CHAPE!" (corny)

Let me now open to you, what was on my mind..
The post is called arbit bcoz the white lady says something seriously arbit for some1 who understands lagnauges like eng and hindi ('You justen blackened tim...' is a completely arbit statement having no meaning whatsoever)

the other person has no choice but to say "Beg your pardon.... Mad-dumb"
thats how the english say it

exploiting exactly this, the witty whitey lady, now has full foolproof proof that
the guy is a beggar (who else begs ??)

"Chall hatt bhikhari" is generally considered a sign of arrogance and haughtiness...
Here, its called a chapaat!

Yes... A Chapaat!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Just look at her!

Now what will the dog say.. ????

Your options are
A. Oh my god! You're doping again....
B. Don't look at her like that you bloody insect!
C. Whatever happened to your choice... she looks like an evil insect.
D. Bow Vow.....

________

Labels:

Saturday, September 17, 2005

My stay at egypt (In max detail)

Intro
I have always been attracted by Egypt. (Yes.. Im paramagnetic in nature)
Maybe due to the great rectangular pyramids or the sfinks..Stupidly enough, some people also come to spell sfinks as sphinx.. How unintelligent!

Now, to start with my trip, in real detail...

The Flight
As soon as me entered the plane, he began to move.I fell down in the passage between the seats. The driver was so stupid, it didn't even bother to check if all the victims were seated. More so, me wasn't holding to one of the ropes hanging from the ceiling.

Then the driver began to show-off his new speaker-mic equipment he had newly installed in the plane and wished all ze passengers...
"Hello this is your kaptaan speaking... Hope you enjoy.. Bye Bye"

I found my seat with difficulty and saw a fat aunty sitting there..
"Excuse me ma'am.. This seems to be my seat" I said very kindly...
"Chal Hatt bhikhari..." she replied... (Go away you beggar)
I did not want to talk to such an indecent person so I sat on another seat I found vacant.
(That was fat-aunty's seat)

I was now in Hungary. I mean to say I was hungry. I had got 22.13 allu-da-paranthhas from home as egypt is deserted and it is very difficult to find food in a desert. (But you can find deserts easily.. eg. I ate lotsa rasagullas there) I got a water bottle too for people said that I was likely to feel thirsty too...I also wondered how they'll land the plane in the sand.. but that was not my problem.

As soon as our plane wanted to run-away... Another big plane tried to go first.. But our driver was a clever guy... He honked real hard and suddenly shot past the other plane. The other driver looked out of his window and started shouting something.. which we couldn't hear as our plane was far away. They gave us free buckle-belts in the plane. Mine was seriously getting old, as in I had to tie it around like a rope. And we were suggested to wear the belt in plane...
I didn't know why... but maybe at high speeds, pants fall down easily.. But, I was wearing jeans, so I was least concerned.

The plane moved real fast.. I was racing with a Mercedes S-class!!! moving on the parallel road... Obviously I won.. Thanks to the plane. Later, the mercedes and everything around it shrunk with embarrassment (Obvsly, coz I won) until everything looked like ants....

There were 2 or 3 buttons above my head.. I had figured out what they did within 30 mins!
Im not boasting, but you know, I have a really good understanding for modern technology.

These plane-walas, I must say, have really beautiful maidservants. A slim and beautiful servant always came to me to give me food, coffee, sweets, blankets, magazines (I didn't return them, sold them for Rs.45/-)... etc etc. She even spoke english...And that too better than me !!??
My english breaked all records! Anyways... I asked her and she even sat with me to gossip. I pitied her....

There was also a TV in the plane. I told her maid to put on Star TV as I was missing on my fav. soap..(Not lux) 'Kyuki saans mein kabhi badbu thee' But she couldn't do that beacuse of technical difficulties.

They did land, in the sand...(wow! that rhymes) Me reached egypt in no time... The flight was so much fun, I had lost the sense of time. (It was lost to be never again found)

Stay at Egypt
It was real fun.

Return Flight
It was good too..

Conclusion
Hence my trip to Egypt was awesomely awesome.

I came back home and counted how much money I had saved. The trip cost me Rs.1000 excluding shopping, flights, food and stay.. (These are obvious costs) (Rs.1000 was ticket to go inside pyramid)

Labels:

Friday, September 16, 2005

CHL 251

Now who is this CHL 251 ?

One of my freinds is called CHL251.
He meets me every Tue, Thu and Fri from 11-12.

Though he is truly a very good guy, but the fact is he's not so good afterall.

For those mistaken, he is one of my subject.
And for those who are mistaken at this point, I'm no king.. he's my study subject.

The teacher who teaches him to me is known by various names..
Par woh bahut acha padate hain
(But they teach us very nicely.)
[[They is used as a sign of respect...]]

Everyone would agree on this... :D

But I think mujhmein hee khot hai, therefore I cannot concentrate in their class...
I have to pass my time...

_______

How to pass CHL251 time ?

That could be called an evil-ly amazing question to be asked..
I shall tell you how I do it in my own evil fashion....
(I could be known as the papa of modern evil fashions)

1.Make chits torn from notebook paper during the CHL251 meet.
For eg.
(Ticket to Hell, Admits 1)
and pass them on to everyone...
I have never got them back....







2.The last page of the blank CHL251 register is the only used page.



(Thank you, for I'm a great artist)












3. You could always shoot friends and teachers...
Those who shot the most say Mani!

All you need is a camera-phone and CHL251...


(Thats my friend Dud-Reja! ) (Yes yes! He's saying Mani !)





(Deepu, My 'Sort Of Best Friend') (He forgot my name so he didn't say Mani!)









4. There amazing figures were cut using only a paper, a pen and CHL251.

(These are later wedged to people's backs)





(A close-up...)(Who could say this is not a real cockroach!!)
(Please ignore the finger)
_______________





1 hour goes by, as if I'd been there for just 60 mins...
My Evil Timepass fashion works awesomely.

Therefore, I end this post here and now.


This post has 1 comments

Veeru Said:


Mani: Thanks for your comment Veeru, take up CHL251 in the next semester....

Labels:

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Words!

Words that moved me
"This house is very small.. lets change it..."
Hence we moved

----

Words that made me dumb
"Shut up Mani"
hence I was quite quiet

----

Words that made me run
"Bow Vow"
hence I ran to save my life

----

Words that hurt me
"Mani...please keep this up on the shelf"
Hence while keeping it, I fel down and was hurt.

----

Words that changed me
"Mani.. These clothes are very dirty"
Hence I had to change

----

Words that made me mind
"Maniraj, you're the monitor"
Hence I had to mind the class

----

Words that I like
"Words and words are all I have to take your heart away"
Hence that Words by Boyzone

----

Words that made me cry
"Mani.. go cut the onion"
Hence I cried

----

Words I can't type
"Sorry for being so lame"
Hence I can never say or write 'sorry' to anyone!

(Taken from chapaat 1.0)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

OD's amazing collez

TruckLoad:
OD once had gas in his stomach.. We tried many medicines but nothing would help.
I sold him for Rs.300/-
____

OD inhabits VIT(Vellore Insti. of Tech.)
Recently Odie came to meet me and was tellin various incidents that happened in his collez.

_

The pro-chancellor of VIT is a famous man.
His posters are put up everywhere in Vellore...
Why ?
Because his name has appeared in the Limca Book O' Records
Why ?
Because he is the YOUNGEST pro chancellor in Asia
Why ?
Because the chancellor is his papa and if Mr.Papa wished, he could've been the pro-chancellor as soon as he was born.
___

Odie had a teacher.
He was african-dark, wore a bright orange shirt and white jeans and always wore sunglasses.
He taught physics and always adviced
"You should give the test of english as a foreign language beacuse it is a very good way of measuring your english"

Once the students asked him
"Sir... Is the value of g(acc. due to gravity) constant or does it change..."
He thought for a while and said very casually,
"Ummm..... No, it does change with Temperature and Pressure."

___

Odie once had a new teacher who taught him computer graphics.
He had worked in IBM, Acer and taught in MIT.
He was presumed to be good.

But, when he came to the class, he never taught them computer graphics..
He told the students to study graphics themselves and asked them unusual questions
like "Can someone prove the Bernoulli's thm for me ??"

It was later found, that he was a fraud..
He ran away with his salaries and many borrowings which included a gullibe student who had given him Rs.10,000 ...
Mr.Gullible was not allowed to report to the police as it would spoil the name of the collez.

________

Thats all about OD's amazing collez ....
Chapaat to the one who reads this line.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

My Orkut Profile

I was going through my profile I wrote a loooong.. time ago ..
I thought it was stupid enough to be put here...
________

My Orkut Profile

General Profile

about me:The more intelligent one is,
the better he knows how stupid one is.

Love me or hate me
it will never matter
coz everyone like you n me
wont live sometime later

so im not bothered
think of me as evil or mad
but no one's happy
be him good or bad...

most go crying
but some eat bliss to live
so think of me as whatever
there's nothing you can give.
relationship status:single
birthday:February 13
age:19.2653671999 approx
here for:friends
children:no(9)
ethnicity:pacific islander
languages i speak:C++
political view:not political
humor:clever/quick witted, friendly,evil
fashion:alternative, smart,evil
smoking:trying to quit
drinking:heavily
pets:i like them at the zoos
living:alone, with roommate(s), with parents, friends visit often, party every night
hometown:New Delhi, Connecticut
webpage:http://chapaat.blogspot.com
interests -
passions:itnay hai ke pata nahi kitnay hai
sports:badi kirkit footi
activities:Programming Relaxing
books:Chapaat for reading this
music:Classical
tv shows:tv shows tv shows
movies:i have watched only one movie in my life -> MAHARAJA (govinda)
cuisines:dal roti

Personal Profile
Apun Ka naam.. Maniraj.. kya..... bola na!
personal -
ideal match:karnataka XI vs Mahrashtra XI
first thing you will notice about me:i have a face
height:272 inches
eye color:blind
hair color:salt & pepper
build:athletic
body art:strategically placed tattoo, visible tattoo, pierced ears, pierced tongue, other piercing, navel ring, mona lisa painted on back
looks:mirror-cracking material
best feature:calves (awesomely strong)
turn ons:assertiveness, body piercing(s), candlelight, dancing, intelligence, long hair, power, sarcasm, skinny dipping, tattoos, thrills, thunderstorms
turn offs:all things run by bijli can be turned off and on but nothing of that sort was on the turn on list .... :|
my idea of a perfect first date:01/01/01
from my past relationships i learned:everyone is more chape than what he/she pretends to be
five things i can't live without:horse racing, lottery, cockroach curry and everything else
in my bedroom you will find:mera PC, mere mice, Deck, TV, another PC, Guitar, Almirah1, almirah2, AC and ME!
by the mice are computer wale mice.
oh!!! ya and bed tooo.... and a dust bin also and my cell phone is also kept there. there r some photos on the wall.. nono not fotos only fotos in foto frames....

_____

Truckload:
I wanted to know how Angelina Jolie looked...
So I asked many people.
Some say "Jolie is pretty"
Some say "Jolie is ugly"
Hence Jolie is Pretty Ugly

Some days later a friend came and asked me
Q."How does Angeline Jolie Look ?"
A. Using her eyes.
_________

Click here to see profile on orkut.
(Add me if you haven't...)


Monday, September 12, 2005

Ze Tag!

TruckLoad:
I quote
"I was so poor in my growing-up days, If I weren't a boy, I'd have nothing to play with."
-Anonymous

*****

There's a Tagging worm going around in the blogging-world these days..
And now he has stuck to me...
I've been tagged...

According to this tag given by the mighty-evil Bad Prad and Anjul I have to answer some evil questions..

******

Five things I will look for in my Fiancée
a. It should be a girl.
b. She should not be very intelligent.. Stupid girls are easy to handle.(majority)
c. She should cry when I laugh and laugh when I cry so as to balance the atmosphere...
d. She should be less evil than me or she'd overpower me.
e. She should cook amazing dal-roti-paneer.

Five things I like to eat
a. Choclate!
b. Butter chicken + butter naan
c. Dal-roti-paneer
d. Ghee (I use it with everything)
e. Cockorach curry with bandar ka dimaag

Five Goals of Life(Waise I play less football, have scored only 3 goals in my whole life)
a. Attaining pertpetual happiness (Taught in the Hukka)
b. Attaining prosperity. (Hukka)
c. Working for human welfare. (Hukka)
d. [Shoot your goal here]
e. [Shoot your goal here]

Five thing I say a lot
a. Chape! (Every1 is chape)
b. Arre! (Out of surprise)
c. Chapaat! (For some1's misdeed)
d. Evil ! (What can you do when everyone is evil....)
e. Sup dude sup! (Warning my friend of a sup(snake) around him/her)

***

Finish..
Now it is a tradition since olden times(started in 1387 BC) to pass on a blog tag to another friend
I do the same.

This tag is passed to -> Manu + Anjul + Anchal (The MAA combination)
(These 3 people must respect tags)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

I just hate giving long long stupid titles to posts!

The Hima Ends

Some days ago, Hima called me and said
"Hi Mani! I just called you to say goodbye.. I'm leaving tonight"
(Hima had to go to UK)
"Tonight ????" I said surprised...

"Yes ... I have fly tonight", said Hima
"So you're going forever... ", I enquired...
"Sort of yes.."

So I wished him luck n all, talked of here n there and I gave him a last goodbye.
For then Hima and I, most probably, would never ever talk.

*

Yesterday Hima called me...
"ARRE! you're still in DLF!" (hima lives in DLF) (I have caller ID)
"Yes.. Actually I have to go on 16th, but that day I though I'd wish you
as I was sitting free and I would not meet you after that."

Hima invited me for his brother's birthday party at DLF(very far from my house)
where I did not want to go for personal reasons... (He told me to reach at 7)
(This was at 4 PM)

At 7.30 Hima called...
I told my maidservant to pick the phone and tell him I'm sleeping.
She did so... But ...

Hima says
"Arre! How can that be ?? I talked to him a minute ago"
Surely he was lying to check my lie.
My maidservant came to tell me this and obviously Hima knew she was lying.

Later I talked to him in a sleepy tone (Im a good actor :D)
and told Hima I couldn't come.

The End

*

Wow! I say wow!
Hima is such an intelligent guy.
Hail to Hima.

Please assume the unmentioned chapaats.....

Saturday, September 10, 2005

The Kind bag #2

He believes in .... 'Always say No to plastic bags' so this time a jute bag comes....



Kindly see 'The Kind bag #1' before seeing this.
(In this case lift=elevator)

Labels:

Friday, September 09, 2005

The kind bag....




Beacuse he believes in... 'Always say No to plastic bags'

(No = Nope) (set by standard public decision taking bureau)

_______

Today's TruckLoad:
OD went to see a movie.
A sign there said 'Under 18 not allowed'
so he got 17 of his friends to go with him.

(Stay tuned for something more on OD)

________

Labels:

Thursday, September 08, 2005

:( my sad face

My mood today does not really permit me to write something
stupid, funny or arbit.. Hence this post.

The Secret


I have unfortunately discovered a big secret and it has become a major reason why I hate myself.
Most of us know it already.. I didn't for a long time but I curse myself for knowing it.
Without more suspense

The secret is "praising someone on their face makes them think good of you and the other person likes you more." (The praise may not be genuine)

If you've never noted that before, Im sorry, as now I've made you as evil as me....

This powerful statement, is so bloody powerful, that it has settled DEEEEEEEEP inside me somewhere and I cannot find where exactly it is stored in me.
So I subconsciously make the use of this, unknowingly, praising unjustly... and sometimes even as a formality.
:(

________

My Anger

I believe anger is a sign of weakness and incompleteness.. Hence I hate being angry.
So everytime, I am angry, I want to be un-angry..
and if I cannot control being angry, I become more angry thinking
"Why the hell am I being angry ?????"
Hence a recursive procedure.
Therefore anger rises exponentially.

But then I realize, I am weak and incomplete.
:(

________

Old, children and youthful, O dear
all are overpowered,
by the cat called time
all are lastly devovoured.

The poor and the rich,
no homage is paid to any
time kills the kings
equally as it kills the many.

________

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Untitled post

TruckLoad for the day:

Q.How to keep a fool in suspense for 24 hrs ??
A. I'll post it tomorrow.

_______

Wow! What beautiful lush green waters... just like the beaches in Mauritius....



Thats a place in IITD, called WindT and a very famous one..
People from far off come to visit this place..
_______

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The day that was tomorrow (Woh jo kal ka din thaa)

(The following 2 lines are called the truckload... Remember... 'TRUCKLOAD')

Q.Damodar Prasad Sinha does NOT eat apples... Why ?
A. Coz his dad is a doctor.

______

Maayuush's Treat

Yesterday, was maayuush's happy birthday.
(Click here to know more about maayuush)
We were 13 people and maayuush 'took' us to PNB.
(Thats Punjabi by Nature.... not punjab national bank)
(axiom #3342.1 : PNB = PBN)

Suddenly, someone started about 'The Bermuda Triangle'
When suddenly, Veeru, jumped up and said
'Oh ya!! The Bazooka Triangle'
we all laughed

he was embarrassed, slapped his head..... and said in an apologetic tone
'I mean the bur-moo-the-aaa triangle'
We all died.

Hence I could not write further.
.
.
.
It was discovered in later episodes, that I hadn't died, Hence I write.
(Obviously I have plastic surgery done)

If you want to see a movie, ask Veeru where to go.. Thats exactly
what we did....
"Oye Veeeru! where do we go ???"
Veeru said "Lets go to satyam SIGN-plex"(note. NOT CINEPLEX.. SIGN-PLEX)


I shall later present, a more detailed note on the
bazooka... oh no... i mean the bur-moo-the-aaa triangle and you
shall be shocked to see it.

About Maayuush's treat,

I saw Maayuush' attitude yesterday... Oh God!!
His attitude was like 'Order more yaar! aapne to kuch khaaya hee nahi'

I quote mani(me),
"Maayuush treated us very nicely yesterday.
He called everyone Sir n Ma'am and gave everyone chairs when they wanted to sit... etc etc"
- Mani
_________

P.S. If you still didn't understand the 'Truckload'
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

If you talk...

If you talk of passing
include all that is
what use does it come of
passing, all that is.

If you talk of pain
comes that, gives that to you
so of what use is it
it pains, when it goes through

If you talk of friend
who is the one to be
think, can you ? , of a one
dear not to self, but me.

If you talk of wants
I dont want to want
but when wants becomes life
then the want is the haunt.

If you talk of talking
by it, what do i get ?
goes, the life, slowly slowly
do, all you can, is regret.

If you talk of regret
why you did it, wonder
told, told you were
to end up in a blunder

If you talk of indifference
in each I must see
until seeing exists to differ
I will remain to be me.

If I stop the talk
it is the end of me
for the end, eagerly
wait, wait i do, only.

_______

If anyone wants my permanent address,

(This is where I shall be)





and most probably, in this form


__________

Labels:

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Chapaating PJs

Enzoy!

Original
____


Q.Once two planes were friends..
so one plane simply slapped the other and the other plane killed its friend... why ??????

A. coz he was a 'ladaku vimaan'

*

Q.what did the stupid n dumb boy say to his papa ?
A. by the virtue of being dumb, he could not speak....

*

Q.What did the dog say to his daughter-in-law ???
A.Bhahu Bhahu

*

Q.what did the elephant say to the mouse ??
A. elephants dont speak

*

Sher....(Lion)
door se dekha to pankha chal raha tha
door se dekha to pankhaa chal raha tha
paas ja ke dekha
to bewakoof ban gaye.. uske pair hee nahe they

*

Once there were 2 friends
One of them was a poor joker(pj maarne wala) so he used to make his friend max frust with his pj's... out of frustapa one day the friend said "yaar bas yaar! ab to thoda serious ho ja!!!!!"

two days later he gets the news,
"your friend is in the hospital, he's serious.."

____

Unoriginal

Q.Why does a person die without water ??
A. 1.Paani nahi hoga, to swim kisme karega ??
2.Swim nahi karega to doob jayega!

*

Q. Once srinath says to kumble
"oye kumble... chal jaa ek pepsi laa"
so kumble gets the pepsi n gives it to sachin.... WHY????

A. coz sachin is the opener....

*

Once a panda goes into a restaurant and gives the order...
later when the waiter gets the bills... he pulls out a gun shoots the waiter and goes ...

so a man sitting nearby meets the panda later
"yaar panda bhai .. yeh tune achi baat nahi kee! tune usko goli kyu maari ??"

panda says "abe oye! kya tune kabhi oxford dictonary padi hai ??? kya tune kabhi usme panda ka matlab pada hai!?? to ja! pad ke aa"

the person goes as read the meaning of panda
panda:an animal that eats shoots and leaves

*

ek buddhha bachpan mein mar gaya ... uski laash sukhi nadi mein taharti mili ...

*

ek baari ek banda bakery shop mein jaata hai
waha puchta hai
"bhai sahab paav hai"

shopkeeper says
"abay gadhe mai kya ghode pe khada hu ?"

*

Once a man is sitting on a grave... so a person passing by asks
"Arre bhai saab! Aap kabar pe bethe ho... darr nahi lagta ?"
He replies...
"Arre! Darne kee kya baat hai.. andar garmi lag rahi thi to socha thodi der bahar baith jaata hu"

*

I have a friend.. He has an amazing quality...
He can stay awake for as many as 10 days... (he sleeps at night)

*
Q.You're in a boat in the middle of the river and have NOTHING with u except 2 cigarettes only.. you want to light one of them by method method...
(please specify any 3 methods) (100 marks)

A.
1.u have two cigarettes.... throw one of them into the river.. therefore since some mass has been dropped off your boat will become lighter.. using that lighter, u can light the other cigarette..

2.two have 2 cigarettes... throw them and catch them...
since we all know, catches win matches...
using the matches u've just won, light the ciagrette...

3.according to the song "tip tip barsaa paani, paani ne aag lagayee"
drop some drops on the cig. n it'll light...

*
Once two fish were in a tank
So one say to the other
"Hey you know how to drive this thing .. Eh ??"

_________

Me thinks its enuff for the day. EnzoyAgain

P.S. There are some jokes which some of you might not understand...
Read them again.. If you still dont understand, then dont read them for the first time itself.

Labels:

Friday, September 02, 2005

The Me's car

I have a merc S class which I drive to college everyday..
which has a very good plus point...

The + pt. is that I can keep all my collez related stuff in the car and there's no need to carry
it in the bad everyday.
I keep simply, EVERYTHING which include books, notes, racket, pens, bag, water, lunch-box, spare shorts, deo etc etc in my car.

(deo ALWAYS remains in my bag and bag almost ALWAYS remains with me)

So as it happened the other day..
My mom said
"Mani! Your car's a mess!"
I thought that mom thinks all my friends eat in my car, afterall, thats what you do in a mess..
But later I realized mom was sayin its messed up.

The car's backseat was full of the 'EVERYTHING' I keep in a random fashion.
So I cleaned up my car, threw away the uneeded.. made a bad of not-needed and a bad of the needed stuff. The car sparked!

Days passed and as material transaction from car took place, the situation got back to square one.

Lemme show you how it looks now
(scroll)
























(That morrison boyd in the pic is now obsolete but still in the car...)


Today again, my mom tells me
"Mani! You're car's messed up again" (Yes! she knows how I messed up the meaning of mess)

The next time, my mom sees my car, it'll be as clean as new..
No sir! I'm not gonna arrange the books!!
Ill dump everything in the boot compartment(dikki as i call it) tomorrow...
My car shall sparkle again.